Things for Which I am Thankful

Today I am thankful for the inventor of the mop. This resourceful person (whoever he or she may be) created something that allows me to clean all of my tile floors without ever having to get down on my hands and knees and scrub, unless I so desire (and let’s face it, I feel that ambitious about my cleaning, oh, almost never).

In fact, I believe a national holiday is in order to honor this inventor. From now on, let us call July 2 National Mop Day. Housewives and cleaning people around the country should celebrate by wearing skirts or shorts that show off knees that were not irritated by spending hours on cold, hard, occasionally bumpy floors. Or, conversely, they should wear nice pants, with knees that show no wear from the same.

While we’re at it, let’s all go get manicures with the time that mopping saves us. A nice, cheerful, summer shade that we don’t have to worry about ruining when dunking our hands repeatedly in a bucket of hot, soapy water, because, once again, we can use a mop instead. And then, let’s toast the clever mop creator with a nice cold margarita (hey, it’s summer, and it’s my holiday!), and relax in our kitchens, admiring how shiny our floors are, with much less of the work than they could take. (And the next time I complain about mopping at all, I need to remember how much worse it could be!)

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