Frustrations

I don’t even know who I’m really frustrated with.  The public school system?  Perhaps a little, but not really.  I guess mainly myself, but I really don’t care for that, either…

We’ve been enjoying learning about Christmas in our little homeschool.  Angels and shepherds, prophecies and fulfillment, Bible characters and customs from around the globe…we’re learning a little bit of everything that has to do with Christmas (except for the commercialized Santa nonsense), all pointing to the Greatest Gift, God’s own Son.

On the other hand, what is Moose learning about in school?  Reindeer and Santa.  I know he’s only three, but that’s so not what Christmas is about.  Now, of course I don’t expect our public school to teach him the real meaning of Christmas.  Those days are long past.  And, because I’m a reasonable person, I don’t even expect them to *not* talk about Santa leading up to Christmas (although I do wish they’d tone it down–I find it absolutely ridiculous that the real meaning of Christmas can’t be touched in public schools, but the whole Santa thing is not only accepted but embraced.).  But the whole Santa/reindeer thing is the bulk of what he’s getting, and so I’m frustrated.

On the one hand, I have two children (plus Ladybug, who likes to hang out with us in school), learning all about Jesus’ birth.  And then I have Moose, who probably needs to hear these things constantly more than anyone else in our family, and he’s not home for the bulk of the teaching.  Sure, we go to church on Sundays, and we say our prayers daily and light the Advent wreath and sing Advent and Christmas hymns.  But he’s missing out on all the stories we’re reading, from the Bible and not, and all the activities we’re doing.

And so, things seem unbalanced.  I could repeat all the stories with him, but it’s really hard to get him to sit still for that long, especially after he’s already been contained in school.  And, to be honest, if he was capable of listening and doing, he wouldn’t be in the public school in the first place.  So I’m left wondering if it’s fair and/or appropriate that two of my children are receiving a Christ-centered education, and one is not.  On the other hand, it also wouldn’t be right to deprive the rest of my children of homeschooling because one of them can’t be taught at home.

Will I ever feel settled about any of this?  I keep hoping for a miracle, that someday Moose will be caught up enough to join us in our homeschool.  But realistically, I don’t know if that will ever happen, so here I am, stuck between two worlds, and feeling guilty about them both…

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