“I’ve become my father. I’ve been trying so hard not to become my mother, I didn’t see this coming.”  (Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green in Friends)

I laugh every time I hear this, although, I have to admit that I’ve been thinking about this quote in a more serious way lately.  Not that I was trying not to turn into my mother, but because I’ve discovered just how much in common I have with my father.

When he was still alive, I really thought we had nothing in common. As a matter of fact, I went out of my way to be different from him, much like Rachel and her mother in the above quote.  But, the older I get, the more I realize how pointless it is to deny who you are and from where you come.

So, I’ll admit it–I like outer space and Star Trek, Babylon 5 and Old Time Radio, classical music and (dare I say it?) math.  I wish I could have talked about those things we have in common with him when he was still alive.  I think this latest rumination sparked from watching When We Left Earth and Apollo 13–I would love to talk to my father about living through man’s journey to the moon and back.  He was a geek (not unlike me), so I know it must have been a huge deal to him.

Hindsight is 20/20, I suppose.  I’m hardly the first person to realize this about her relationship with a parent.  At least I’ve come to a point now where I can allow myself to enjoy those things, even if I no longer have the opportunity to share them with him. And at least my husband shares my love of all things nerdly, and we seem to have passed that on to our children, so I do have people to share it with.  I just feel guilty that I went out of my way not to share it with my father while I had the chance. Hopefully, as they grow older, my children will be wiser than I.