So, my mom has been in the hospital for almost two weeks.  She  may get to go home this weekend, although I’m thinking the beginning of next week is more likely, as long as everything goes well.

She’s had two surgeries, and has been in the ICU for almost a week now.  It seems like she’s had just about every post-op complication you can have, including pneumonia.  My aunt called me today to tell me that she thinks my mom has been sicker than she’s been telling us, but I’m not supposed to tell my mom that my aunt called and told me that–I’m just supposed to wait for her to come clean to me on her own.  I love being put in the middle–nothing like a little family drama in the midst of a family drama.

I haven’t been able to go see her–it’s not exactly a short trip, and with four small children (one with special needs), and a husband with no vacation time, it’s not like I can just pop in for the afternoon.  I feel guilty, but not for the reason you might think.  Based on what I’ve heard from my mom directly, (which *should* be all I have to go by) she 1.) hasn’t been *that* sick; and B.) really doesn’t want me to come up there while she’s in the hospital–she’s weird about hospital visitors.  So, I don’t really feel guilty that I haven’t been up there, but I do feel guilty because I’m worried about people thinking I’m a terrible daughter for not having been up there.  And my misplaced guilt is serving only to make me feel guiltier. *sigh*