Moose has really been trying to talk a lot more lately. Not just single words, not just repeating words we tell him to say, but spontaneously stringing together a few words at a time. I don’t understand what he’s saying half the time, but still! That in and of itself is a great joy. But I’ve discovered that I’ve found joy in something else I wasn’t really expecting.

I’m finally getting an idea of what his voice sounds like! I know to most people, this wouldn’t be a big deal, and for most parents of almost-four-year-olds, it probably wouldn’t even make sense. How can you not know, after all that time, what your own child’s voice sounds like?

But, when all you get is one word at a time, and not on any kind of regular basis, and when even that word is a struggle to get out, you don’t know. You wonder what a normal speaking voice sounds like for your child. Sure, I’m well acquainted with his shrieks, because that’s been his only really way to express negative emotions outside of crying, and I know (kind of) what his babbling voice sounds like. But now I’m learning what his speaking voice sounds like. And I’m even learning that he often purses his lips in a very certain way when he’s really trying to talk. And I’ve found a great deal of joy in these discoveries. As much as I feel like autism has taken from him (and us), I also know I never would have found this kind of elation in something so simple if autism wasn’t a part of our lives.

I’ve been waiting for this for a long time, and let me tell you, it is a beautiful sound!