Month: August 2010

More Progress

Today Moose’s speech therapist stopped me in the hall–apparently she had been waiting to talk to me, and had even considered calling me over the weekend, because she had some news she really wanted to share. She told me that she couldn’t believe the progress Moose has made in speech, even since the end of May!

She’s impressed with how much more he’s talking, which was no surprise to me. He has been talking more (sometimes non-stop), and while I like being reassured that he is improving, I was fairly certain that I couldn’t have imagined how much more he has to say now.

The thing that was really great to hear, though, was how much improvement she thinks he’s made in speaking in a way that is understandable to others. This is a really hard thing for us to measure at home, because we listen to him all the time, and all of us, from Ladybug on up, have gotten used to interpreting the unique ways he says some things. So while I want to believe that he is pronouncing more correctly, enunciating more clearly, and is just overall easier to understand, I’m hardly an impartial judge of the matter. His therapist, though, is familiar with how he’s been talking (or not, in the beginning at least) for almost two years, but she’s also had a few months away from him, so she can judge his progress better.

I’m so grateful for all the help he is able to receive at school–while public school may not be the best place for Turkey and Bunny, it is most definitely the best place for Moose to get the help he needs.

Reading is Fun!

Of course, I’ve known this truth for a very long time. But we’ve really turned a corner here with Turkey and Bunny, and it’s exciting to watch.

Turkey and Bunny are both great readers. Their reading level is *at least* several grades ahead, and their comprehension is good. They have no problem reading story books and readers, but chapter books took a little more convincing. Bunny finally realized a few months ago that the words were not too hard for her, and that just because there is less white space on the page, doesn’t make the act of reading that much more difficult. So, she’s been reading some chapter books here and there, but it’s been sporadic.

Turkey, on the other hand, has had a real mental block about chapter books. I don’t know if it’s a boy thing, or the way his brain processes information, but he was just certain that he could not do it. I’ve been encouraging him and prodding him to just pick up a book and try, but he’s been reluctant. But a few weeks ago, he finally decided to give it a try. It took some getting used to, but he did finally realize he *could* do it, and that reading to yourself is actually fun.

So, for the last two weeks, he and Bunny have been reading. A lot. Between them, in that amount of time, they’ve read at least 10 chapter books, and they show no sign of letting up. This is the point where I’m glad that we have a good home library, because I’m not sure that we have enough time to keep going back to the actual library every time they need a new book!

I’m so happy my children have learned this lesson, and now we can share the joy of reading together!

Distractions in Church

My recent musings about children in church sparked a lot of discussion. One thing that came up frequently was how much of a distraction children can be to others in worship, even when they’re well-behaved. That got me thinking–at what point do we have to take ownership for the things that we allow ourselves to be distracted by, instead of placing the blame on the person (or thing) that is distracting us?

Everyone has different things that cause their attention to wander, be it in church or somewhere else. For example, unless a total meltdown is in progress, I very rarely notice any child-noise in church, unless the noise is coming from my own children, of whose noises I am hyper-aware. Maybe it’s because I’m a mother, and I just tend to block it out; maybe it’s just not something that tends to cross my radar, I don’t know.

On the other hand, there are things that *do* distract me, to the point that I will suddenly realize I missed a big part of the service because I had been focusing on the distraction. But whose responsibility is that? The person who had been distracting me? Or myself, for allowing my mind to focus on something other than the Word on Sunday morning?

My guess is that the real problem there is me. Again, I’m not talking about something that is almost impossible to ignore, like the complete meltdown of a child, or someone collapsing in the service. I’m talking about rather innocuous things–things that might bother me, that you’d never even notice, or things that make you crazy, while I’m left wondering what the problem is. It’s the minutiae in life that tends to get us, after all.

There are so many things in worship that can distract us if we allow it. The innocent noises that come from babies and toddlers. The way someone is dressed. Adults whispering a few pews away. The scent of perfume or cologne (or even the flowers in church that Sunday). The sound of coughing or sniffling. Even our own thoughts and plans. Any of these little things can encourage us to move our focus from where it should be, to something, anything else. Who among us hasn’t drifted away, only to realize that half of the sermon has gone by, without our hearing a word? And worse yet, *the* Word? I know I have. Mea culpa.

Yes, as fellow members of a congregation, we need to be sympathetic to those things we do in worship that may cause our brothers and sisters to become distracted and take their focus of Christ. I would never suggest that we concern ourselves only with our worship, and what works for us–we should be concerned with the whole body of Christ. But we also need to be responsible for our own minds, and the direction our thoughts take when we allow ourselves to look away from Christ, and focus on anything else when we are in His presence. And in everything, whether as distractor or the distracted, we should all keep in mind the words of Galatians 6:2–“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the Law of Christ.”

Don’t Tell Me “I Can’t”

I realized something about myself today. (Frankly, I kind of enjoy the fact that even at 31 years old, I can surprise myself.) I realized that I have no tolerance for people who say they can’t do something, that something is too hard or impossible. Now, this realization was not really the surprising part. I think I’ve always known I feel that way, even though I never really thought it through before.

What was surprising to me, however, that I was able to quickly pinpoint *why* I feel that way.

I grew up with two blind parents (my father has since passed away, but my mother is still around to support, encourage, and generally harass me). I am sure that there were many, *many* times in their lives when they were told they couldn’t, or shouldn’t do things because of their lack of vision. I’m also sure there were times that they felt like there were things they were incapable of doing. I never saw those feelings, though. All I saw was a determination to get things done, to find other ways of doing things.

My father was the first blind employee at his company, a real trailblazer. He worked with technology (such as it was, starting in the late 70s, and on to his death in the late 90s), and he needed adaptive devices to get his job done, but get it done he did. Some things may have taken him longer, and he may have needed to find new ways of doing things, but he buckled down and did it.

My mother, among other things, was a blind stay-at-home-mom, raising a sighted child. I know for a fact that there were people who thought she had no business having a child, much less raising a child on her own with her blind husband, but raise me they did. Did she do things differently?Find new ways of doing things? Sure she did. But really, don’t we all?

So when I hear people tell me they “can’t” do something, it ticks me off. I have no tolerance for it at all. All my life, I have seen examples of people who “shouldn’t” be able to do things, but do them anyway. And now even with my own son, who has many things of his own he “can’t” do, I don’t give up hope that he *will* do them eventually, just at a different pace or in a different way. So, if I seem frustrated when someone tells me they “can’t,” that’s why. I’m just not buying it, because I know people who *should* be able to say they “can’t,” but instead decide to find ways that they *can.*

To Be Or Not To Be

Had anyone else noticed that the words “to be” are starting to disappear from the English language? And also the suffix “ing?” Here is a sample of what I’m talking about (and I’m seeing it more and more often, particularly on message boards):

They can’t have anything that needs cooked.

I don’t get it. Is it that much more difficult to type out the complete sentence: “They can’t have anything that needs to be cooked?” Are those two words no longer necessary to form a complete sentence? Or, alternatively, to write: “They can’t have anything that needs cooking?”

Is this some kind of new internet shorthand that I’m not familiar with? Maybe I’m just getting old, and not up on all the current slang!

Progress Already

It’s only Moose’s second day back at school, and I’ve already seen so much improvement over last year! He has been talking to us about school–really talking. Not only answering our questions (which he only did very sporadically last year), but offering information. He’s told us about what he’s played with, what he’s had for a snack, what jobs he wants to do (he’s very excited to be the weather helper again this year!), even his teacher’s name.

I can’t even begin to express the difference I see in him. This happened last year, too–it’s like his brain needed a little rest over the summer, and when he started back to school, he was ready to go–really ready! I pray that we continue to see these improvements in him, and that he can continue on a track that will help make his introduction to Kindergarten as easy as possible next year.

It’s hard to believe that two years ago he could barely talk at all!

What’s Happening to Lutheran Schools?

Just over a week ago, I found out that the Lutheran (Missouri Synod) Day School I attended for the first 10 years of my educational life had closed. While the school had been having problems for the last few years, I never really believed it would come to this. Somehow, I figured the school, supported by the parents, would overcome the obstacles, and make it work. Afterall, this is a school that had over 300 students in the not terribly distant past; a school that offered many extra curricular activities including music and various sports; a school that had a very challenging curriculum, particularly in the area of science, that more than prepared me for high school, and in some respects, even college.

So, I was surprised to find that the school closed, and closed rather abruptly. But I don’t think I should have been, because this seems to be a trend among Lutheran schools (and maybe other private religious schools, too, I don’t know). I know that the school my mother-in-law used to teach at basically exists on a year-to-year basis. And I’ve heard countless stories of Lutheran schools, of varying sizes, that are closing down, downsizing, or in danger of being disbanded. It makes me wonder if the LC-MS school system that we know today will be around in another 20 years. Maybe quality Lutheran education is no longer a priority to parents.

This trend makes me sad. The 10 years I spent at my school, from pre-K up to eighth grade graduation, shaped me, made me who I am today. I knew from my middle elementary years that I would go to a Lutheran college (after I “did my time” at the public high school), and was even pretty sure which Lutheran College I would go to. I also developed my passion for education at that institution, and while I may not be teaching in a traditional classroom, I *am* a teacher, and I regularly use things I remember from my own Lutheran school days in our homeschool.

I have the highest respect for our Lutheran Day Schools throughout the Synod. It is something that truly sets us apart from most other Christian denominations. If we had a high quality Lutheran school in our area that was within a decent driving distance, and we could afford tuition for four, I probably wouldn’t be homeschooling right now. I am sad to think that this tradition of Lutheran education is dwindling, and may eventually become the exception, and not the norm in Lutheran circles.

Children in Church

I hate church nurseries. At every church I’ve attended that has *had* a church nursery, I’ve been offered, encouraged and harassed to use the nursery. I know people have good intentions, but I grew so tired of hearing people to tell me to “let myself have a break,” or “let the children come and play,” or whatever other way they so nicely suggest that my children didn’t belong/didn’t need to be/weren’t wanted in church. This is why I am so glad that they church we go to now has no nursery in sight. Places where you can take your child during the service? Yes. Staffed nursery? No. So grateful.

I truly believe (and always have) that children belong in church from the time of their baptism on. I also believe that children should be baptised within weeks, if not days, of their births, ergo, children belong in church from the time they are days (or weeks) old, hearing the Word. And don’t tell me it’s too hard, because I don’t buy it. When I had one, or even two children, mothers with more “experience” would knowingly say that I’d change my mind when they were older/more mobile, or if I had more children. Well, I’m here to tell you, I didn’t change my mind, not when I had four children four and under, not when I found out that one of my children has autism (which can make sitting through church a challenge), not when my husband is out-of-town and I have to take them all by myself, not ever. Children are part of the body of believers, they need to be taught how to worship, and they need to be in worship.

So, to everybody who talked down to me like I had no idea what parenting was like when I was a younger parent: you were wrong. I stand by my belief that children *always* belong in church. To the other parents out there who are struggling to do the right thing and keep their children in church with them, here are a few ideas for you:

  1. Sit in front. This is just common sense. If you’re sitting in the back, facing the front, when your child is loud, that loudness travels in front of you, toward all of the rows of people sitting in front of you. If you’re in front, the sound is mostly just traveling toward the pastor, and he’s usually more understanding than the people sitting in the pews.
  2. Limit distractions. I know a lot of people swear by “church bags” full of toys, books and snacks. I used to do that, too. But I found that all that stuff really just provided more distractions, more noise, and more problems when they were dropped, lost or fought over. If you *must* bring something, bring a quiet toy (stuffed animals are great at being quiet) that doesn’t rattle, sing, squeak, or have wheels that make lots of noise. Better yet, bring a church related book. A Bible story book, or one of my favorite books for toddlers–The Things I…series from CPH. I think those are actually best used at home before and after church to talk about what you will be (or what you have been) seeing and doing, but in church would be OK too, if you have to bring something.
  3. Sit in front. I know I said this once already, but I’m saying it again for a different reason. Children love to see what is happening in church. There is so much to watch and listen to, and the closer you are to the front, the better children are able to participate. Yes, you will need to whisper to them what is going on, and yes, they will need to be taught to whisper their questions to you, but this is how they learn. They need to see, hear and understand what is going on in the service–this is how they learn to be part of the service themselves when they are older.
  4. Help them participate. Help young children learn to stand when you stand, sit when you sit, and fold their hands at appropriate times. Also, a benefit of attending a liturgical church is that even small children can learn when to say the appropriate responses, and what those responses are. And young children who can’t yet read still like to follow along in a hymnal, so show them the correct page, help them turn the page at the right times, help them to learn how to treat the hymnal with respect (just as you’re probably teaching them to do with story books at home).
  5. Talk about church. Talk about how you behave in church before you go. Talk about what happened in church on your way home. Play church with stuffed animals during the week, modeling correct church behavior. The more children know what to expect, and what is expected of them, the better they will do on Sunday morning.
  6. Be consistent. Go to church *every* Sunday. Yes, there are weeks when illness makes us miss out on worship, but those instances are usually few and far between. There will be Sundays that you won’t want to go. Go anyway–these are the Sundays you need to be there the most. The more often you go, the better you children will behave, so go regularly.
  7. Leave when you need to. Even with practice and help from parents, even the best child has a Sunday with a meltdown. So, if you need to leave because your child is being a distraction, just leave, as quickly and as quietly as possible (I know this is embarrassing when you’re sitting in front, but hopefully if you’re sitting in front, and your children are engaged in the service, you’ll need to leave less often, anyway). And when you get out of the sanctuary, sit with your child, or stand if there are no seats available, but keep participating in the service. No running around, no playing with toys, no going home. Even if you’re not in the sanctuary, your child needs to learn that Sunday mornings are for worship, and if they are not willing to sit in the pew (preferably in the front), then they are going to worship in the back, where they can’t see as well, and aren’t as much a part of things. I know from experience that this is not more fun than sitting in the pew, and the child will eventually realize that in the church, where they can see and hear well, is the better place to be.

Helping children to learn how to worship is not always easy–at times is may seem like a never-ending task. But, one Sunday you will realize that your toddler is singing the words to the liturgy, and you will realize that your elementary-school age children are listening to the sermon, and you may even notice that your special-needs child is at his best in church, and you will know what an important and rewarding task it truly is!

Booze Soaked Cake #4–Peppermint Chocolate

I was going to wait to try this latest twist on the “Amaretto Divine” cake until Christmastime, but when I was in the grocery store, I noticed that they had the necessary peppermint mocha coffee creamer–now available all year long! (I also *really* want to start drinking coffee again, but that’s a whole other story!) Since I could get the creamer now, I decided to go ahead and make the cake as a surprise for Ryan upon his return from Portugal.

Based on the reactions of the whole family, this was the best cake yet! The children loved it, Ryan loved it, and I could have sat down and eaten the whole bowl of frosting before it ever made it to the cake (I didn’t, I promise!). It was so delicious that I think I’m going to call it “Peppermint Dream,” or something that will similarly convey its excellence. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll be making this one again, probably for Christmas like I had originally planned, and maybe even before then, too, since it was such a big hit!

Cake:

1 (18.25 ounce) package devil’s food cake mix

1 cup non dairy peppermint mocha flavored creamer

1 cup peppermint schnapps

3 eggs

1/3 cup vegetable oil

Filling/Frosting:

1 (3.5 ounce) package instant devil’s food pudding mix

1 cup non dairy peppermint mocha flavored creamer

1/4 cup peppermint schnapps

2 cups heavy cream, whipped

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease and flour three 8- inch pans.

Mix together the cake mix, 1 cup peppermint flavored creamer, 1 cup peppermint schnapps, eggs and oil until blended. Distribute cake batter evenly between the cake pans. Bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes, making certain the cake layers do not overbake. Allow to cool completely before filling.

To make the peppermint mocha whipped cream filling: Combine pudding mix, 1/4 cup peppermint schnapps and 1 cup peppermint mocha flavored creamer. Set aside for 5 minutes until thickened. Fold the whipped cream into the peppermint mocha mixture. Use to fill and frost the cake. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

End of Week One

We have wrapped up the first week of our third year of homeschooling. I definitely think this was our best first week of school yet!

Our curriculum for second grade has been a huge hit so far. Turkey and Bunny love reading Charlotte’s Web, science has been fun and interesting, and our history books have all caught their interest. The health curriculum that I chose on the spur of the moment just a few weeks ago is full of fun activities, and puts things right on their level. They’ve also really liked math so far (probably because it’s all been review!), and they love the books I’ve chosen for our religion curriculum.

This is the best way to start the year–everyone is excited about learning, the books are all interesting, and we just can’t wait for the next day’s work!