I really wish I was the kind of person who enjoys yard work. I really do.

But I’m not.

I see the dedicated ones puttering around in their yards, weeding, pruning, planting, mowing…and the worst part is, they always look happy to be doing it. You can just tell when you’re watching someone who is enjoying their yard work. You will definitely not get that impression from me.

It all just seems so futile. No matter how much time and money you pour into your lawn, the weeds always come back…if they ever even went away in the first place. They’re always there, lurking, taunting, proving that having a nicely manicured lawn is impossible, no matter how many chemicals you throw down, or what companies you employ to do it for you. The whole lawn could die in the heat of summer, but the weeds will still be there.

Then there’s the whole watering issue. It seems like a complete waste of time and resources to me, just to ensure green grass. If it rains, fine…the grass can be green. But if it doesn’t? I’m not spending our hard-earned money on making sure the grass gets water. Especially when there are so many places in the country that are truly struggling with their water levels…why thumb my nose at them that way. I’ll let God take care of the watering of my lawn in the way He sees fit, thank you.

And don’t even get me started on the tools needed for yard work. The lawnmower is OK…it’s basically like pushing a heavy, very loud vacuum cleaner. But the edger? That thing *always* sounds angry. And trying to get it where it needs to go is like trying to walk a cat on a lease through a car wash–it’s just not happening; that thing is going where it wants to go! I’m pretty sure that it’s planning my demise, especially when the sparks start flying when I accidentally hit the driveway. And then there are other scary-looking pieces of equipment like pruning shears and metal rakes. Yep, the tools needed for yard work frighten me.

I guess yard work just isn’t for everybody. Certainly not for me. I’ll do it because that’s what homeowners do, and because I have to, otherwise I’ll be “that neighbor.” But you won’t find me enjoying it…instead, I’ll be thinking about the moment when I’m done, and I get to go back inside where the air conditioning and ice water are.