Today was Moose’s last day of school before his graduation tomorrow. I was surprised to find that it was almost more difficult dropping him off for his last day of Early Childhood Education than it was dropping him off for his first day, two and a half years ago, but for completely different reasons.
When I had to leave him at the school that November day, I was so worried about how he would do. He couldn’t talk, and so I worried about how he would communicate with his teachers, and let them know what he needed, as well as how he would communicate with us when he got home, to let us know how his day was, and if he was happy at school. I worried about him being just barely three, which was, (and still is), in my opinion, too young to be away from home, at least for a “normal” child, (which, of course, he was not).
Today, my worries are about the future. How will he do in Kindergarten? Will he be able to keep up with all that’s expected of him? Because the expectations will be higher, and to be perfectly frank, Kindergarten “counts.” He *has* to be there, while ECE was always optional, and we could have removed him from the program at any time, if it hadn’t gone well.
Now, I know he’s surpassed what I thought he could do in ECE, so I’m assuming the same will happen in Kindergarten, and I’ll be pleasantly surprised, (and reassured). But I also know that things will be hard for him…I don’t know how hard, and I don’t know in which ways, but he will have struggles, I’m sure. And I would do anything to be able to take those struggles away from him, because I don’t want to see him get hurt.
And so, just as I did the day I first dropped him off, I shed tears. Not because I didn’t want to leave him, which was the source of my tears that first day, but because now, I don’t want him to have to leave the comfort and familiarity of the program I was so worried about leaving him with in the first place.