children

Considering My Options

I hope there will come a day when I am not obsessing over curriculum. In fact, I hope that day will come soon, because I really hope to place our order for the coming school year within the next two weeks. I, for one, am just grateful that I was able to choose a company from which to order so quickly. If I had to compare different curriculum packages within *and* between companies, I would be completely looney toons by now. I suppose, depending on who you ask (read, my husband!) I already am, as I cannot put the Sonlight catalog and/or website down in the evenings, but it is what it is. Decision time approaches, so hopefully I will get this figured out, and fast.

The way I look at it, I have three options. I’ve basically eliminated one of those, but it was my gut instinct as to what I should order, so I have to keep it on the table, just in case. I was initially just going to order the Core K, with K readers (Option One). Switch out the handwriting for a different style, but keep everything else in the package basically the same. I was going to add the Get Ready, Set, Go for the Code set for some extra reading help, but the rest was going to be the K suggestions–math, science, Bible, electives, etc. However, after talking to some people who have used Sonlight, I started to worry about starting Bunny at the K level too young (she’s four). Now, anybody who has met her can attest to the fact that she is quite bright, and rather advanced for a four year old. I wasn’t at all worried about her being able to pay attention or keep up with the work. But, some moms who have been through it mentioned that as we got into Cores Two and Three, the subject material might be a little heavy for her if we started a year early. Actually, some of them even recommended starting at the P 3/4 Core, but I think that’s ridiculous, and not an option at all–we’ve been reading a lot for the last three years, we need something more structured.

Anyway, those comments got me to thinking. Looking at the P 4/5 Core, I initially thought it would be too boring for Bunny and Turkey (who is five). We have read some of the books, and there isn’t really any structured math or electives, and no learning to read, so I couldn’t really see how that would work. But the thing about Sonlight is, you’re supposed to look more at the age ranges than the Core level, and doing that, Core P 4/5 makes the most sense, as it’s for four and five year olds, and I will be teaching, well, a four and a five year old!

So, Option Two was born. After considering to myself how I could tweak not only this year’s program to make it more advanced, but not set us up to get into too heavy subject material a few years down the road, I came up with what I think is a good compromise. I would get the P 4/5 Core, but with readers K, as well as language arts K, as planned in option one, which is an available choice from Sonlight (up through Core Three, you have the option of either advancing a core level in the readers, or an advanced set of readers within your core). Even though neither Turkey nor Bunny can read independently yet, they seem to be ready to learn, so this would be a good place to start. I would also get the handwriting and Explode the Code that I had planned to do with Core K, as that stuff is easily switched around in future years, and would provide them with an extra challenge. I would then also plan on getting the Classical Kids Collection of CDs (volume two, as volume one makes an appearance in an electives package in Core One or Two, I think) to add a little music appreciation/background of classical composers. I can also add a pattern blocks kit, which introduces some math concepts such as counting and geometry, and will help Bunny with spatial thinking (Turkey sure doesn’t need help in that department!)

This option is looking pretty good. We’ll be able to work ahead in reading, and from what I can tell, the readers are not so much the problem in regards to heavier content. That comes more from the book selections for the history core, and if we do the P 4/5 now, we’ll be more on track with the ages recommended for the cores later. Bunny will still be at the low end of the spectrum, but at least she’d be on it, unlike if we start with K now, and she’d always be a year “too young”–and like I said before, she’s advanced, so I think she can handle it. The other nice thing is the way the readers are laid out in coming years. We’ll be a year ahead, but once we get to Core Two, we’ll have the option of regular readers (which, in theory, we’ll do with Core One), as well as advanced and intermediate. So, even if we’re a grade level ahead for a little while, it’ll all catch up by Core Three.

Then, there’s Option Three. I honestly think that in an ideal situation, this is the best option we’ve got, but finances make it basically impossible. I haven’t discounted it altogether, because I honestly believe it’s the best solution, but I also don’t think it’s really going to happen. My big concern with the P 4/5 core is that we’re going to go through it faster than scheduled. Knowing my children, and their desire to learn, I have a hard time believing it will take a full school year to get through, even with the tweaking I have planned. So, ideally, I would like to do option two above, and order Core K with Readers One. If I do this, we can spend at least half the school year (which is what I’m estimating it would take to do the P 4/5 Core if we do it at the pace I think we’re going to want to) on the P 4/5 Core, and then move right into the K core without a break. This will give Bunny especially a little more time to mature, as opposed to jumping right into Core K, but will also (hopefully) prevent them from getting too bored. I would then get handwriting for Core One to go along with it, because it doesn’t really matter if they get ahead in that, as well as Explode the Code 1, 2, 3, which is scheduled to go along with the readers and language arts for Core One, which we would be upgrading to.

I see option three as the best of both worlds. We can ease our way into homeschooling (and school, in general) with Core P 4/5 and work at our own pace. If it goes fast, we can jump right into Core K. At worst, the P 4/5 really does take a full year, and we have the K curriculum ready to go next year when we need it. I don’t know–such tough decisions to make, when it’s in regards to your children’s education. I guess option two will work out OK as long as we don’t go through it too fast, and the bonus is, it’s the cheapest of the three options!

Wow, that was really long and confusing! If you’ve never looked at a Sonlight catalog, I’m sure it sounds like a foreign language. Actually, it’s taken the better part of three weeks for me to understand what I’m talking about, and I’m not even sure about myself half the time!

Book Review: “The Well Trained-Mind”

It’s going to sound cliche, but this book changed my life. Seriously. It was the reading of The Well-Trained Mind (and I’ll be honest, I didn’t even finish it before I had to return it to the library!) that really pushed us over the edge into homeschooling. It was my husband even more than myself that this book really impressed, and it made us look at the public school system in a new, and frankly rather unflattering, way.

This book was written by the mother-daughter duo of Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer. Between the two of them, they have experience teaching in public schools, colleges and homeschools, as well as advanced degrees and have even authored a history curriculum written in the classical method and geared toward early elementary school students.

The Well-Trained Mind focuses on providing children with a classical education in the home. The basis of this method of instruction is the trivium–three sequential learning stages which are grammar, logic and rhetoric. What makes this book so fantastic are the extensive suggestions for resources for every part of the curriculum–from history and handwriting to Language Arts and Latin; from math and music to Social Studies and science, and everything in between. It is split up into stages of learning, and from there split into subjects. An enterprising parent could put together an entire curriculum based on the recommendations given! While I’m not that ambitious, I have noticed that Sonlight uses and/or offers many of the books listed in The Well-Trained Mind, and I also plan to supplement the curriculum we’ll be purchasing from that company with a few additional recommendations from this book.

The end of the book is also extremely helpful. The authors cover things such as making schedules (daily, as well as how to structure the school year, with a focus on year-round schooling in three different models), keeping records, standardized tests, tutoring and preparing for college. Basically, there are over 700 pages of awesome contained in this book. It was recommended to me by other homeschoolers when I was just considering homeschooling, and I will concur that anyone who thinks they might want to try homeschool should read this book, because it is a valuable resource.

This book deserves more than five stars as far as I’m concerned. I will be ordering a copy for my personal use from Amazon as soon as possible, and I can’t wait to sit down with it and a highlighter, and mark all the books we definitely will be reading, as well as others I would like to add to our studies. I think this will become one of my most useful homeschooling resources, and I plan on using the suggestions in it to help me educate my children for many years to come!

I Have a Plan!

So, after spending the last several weeks going through homeschooling catalogs and websites of all kinds, as well as talking to people online, I think I have a plan for this year!

We’re going to start with Sonlight K, but not the newcomer package, because I decided to use A Reason for Handwriting instead of Handwriting Without Tears, which is what comes with the newcomer set. (And how much does all this agonizing I’ve done over handwriting curriculum even matter? Everybody is typing nowadays. But they still need to learn to write properly!) I realize that most people who have tried Handwriting Without Tears have loved it, but I really prefer the more traditional look that is taught in A Reason for Handwriting, and I also like that the practice is done with Bible verses (even it is selections from the Living Bible. *sigh* I’ll have to see how the lessons are presented, and how easy it would be to substitute with the ESV). So, my big challenge is going to be making sure I order everything else that would have come in the newcomer package, just switching out the handwriting materials, and also adding Ready, Set, Go for the Code for additional learning to read help.

I know some people would probably recommend starting with the P 4/5 curriculum, since I’m going to be working with a four and five year old. But I’ve been over both the K and the P 4/5 materials many times, and I really think they would both be bored with the 4/5 stuff. I don’t want to sound like the typical bragging parent, but both of my older children are pretty advanced, which was partly the reason we decided to homeschool, so they could be more challenged, and I think they know most of the stuff from the 4/5 curriculum. I guess at worst we end up stretching out or repeating the K curriculum, but I really don’t think it’s going to be an issue.

As long as homeschooling goes well this year, and I feel comfortable with what I’m doing, I may look into switching out other parts of the curriculum. Not the core, obviously, because that’s the best part of Sonlight–all of the reading, and the natural learning method as far as history, geography, etc., goes. In the future, though, especially if I actually get to a curriculum fair, I think I may want to try Apologia for science (maybe starting at grade two, so I can do the astronomy, botany, and three zoology texts before general science hits in seventh grade), because I always loved science in grade school (and high school and college for that matter, except for physics, but that’s a whole other story!) and the Apologia curriculum looks really cool!

I’m also hoping to get a chance to compare Saxon math to the Horizons curriculum that Sonlight recommends, because I know it’s a tried and true method, and a lot of homeschoolers use it, so I figure I should at least check it out. Hopefully I can make that decision before we start grade one next year–that way I won’t end up doubling up on manipulatives sets (I know I could put together my own, but that idea is still intimidating to a new homeschooler like me!).

Eventually I know I’m going to want to move away from the religion that Sonlight provides, as well. I’m already adding the Lutheran Children’s ESV to our materials for this year, to beef up the Bible curriculum that they provide, and maybe some Arch books, too. I’m OK with Sonlight’s offerings (supplemented by CPH material) up through about grade two or three, but then they A.) start using Bible translations I’m not fond of, and 2.) start teaching some stuff that could be contradictory to Lutheran theology, at least from what I can tell so far. I can always fall back on CPH’s dayschool religion curriculum or *gasp* prepare my own–I was a DCE before children, after all, so if there’s anything I should be able to create on my own, that would be it!

The reading, read-alouds and Language Arts all look good to me, so no worries about replacing those. The electives look pretty good, too–certainly more about music and art appreciation than I ever learned in the early elementary years. And while I’m not using Sonlight’s number one recommendation for handwriting, and I may decide on different math and science, all of those materials are still available to order through Sonlight (and I think still eligible for the member discount), so except for the religion materials, it appears I can keep all of my business in one place. Very convenient!

I’m most excited about Sonlight’s core, though–I can’t believe how much we’ll be reading! I think I’ve looked at the book lists for almost every grade, and there are so many familiar books from my childhood that I can’t wait to share with my children. And I love the way they use “real” books to teach history, instead of just dry textbooks. I know I remember much more from the stories I read as a child, whether they were true, or just entertaining fiction, than I do from any textbook I read. I know this isn’t the only way of learning, but it is the one that makes the most sense to me, so I’m especially happy Sonlight has put together such a nice curriculum for me–I wouldn’t even know where to start doing this on my own!

I can’t believe we’ve actually made the decision to homeschool. I certainly never saw myself as a homeschooling parent. Then again, our family has always been a little unorthodox, so maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised that this seems to be such a good fit for us–we’re good at going against the grain! I’m especially grateful to my husband, because he was obviously listening to me, (at times when I didn’t even realize I was talking!), and was open minded enough not only to consider this, but to actually do a complete 180 on his opinions on homeschooling. I never even would have seriously considered homeschooling without his support, but I feel that with God calling me to do this, and Ryan’s encouragement, I’ve been set free to do something I always wanted to do, without even really knowing it at the time.

Homeschooling?!?

I never thought I’d be the type of parent to consider homeschooling. I’ve never had a problem with it, it’s fine for other families, just figured it was something that wouldn’t really work out for us. Ever since we registered our oldest for Kindergarten, though, I’ve felt this growing sense of trepidation. Not about him leaving me (although I’ve thought about the tears I will shed that first day of school!), but about what kind of things he’ll learn at school. And not just picking up stuff from the other children that I’d rather he not be exposed to. I’m worried about the stuff he would actually be taught.

First of all, I really don’t want my children being taught evolution. I don’t mind them knowing the theory is out there, but I don’t want them learning it as truth. I 100% believe in Creationism, and I fully intend to teach that to my children. But if the school system isn’t on board with that, I’m going to spend time that would be better used elsewhere trying to undo their teachings. And evolution will trickle down into other subjects besides science. Things like history and biology will also be affected.

Then there are “family life” units that I really have a heavy heart about. I feel that it is my responsibility to teach my children what a family is, based on the Biblical perspective. Again, I don’t want a public school curriculum mucking up what I’m trying to instill at home.

Sex ed is another concern along those lines. I really don’t think the school system needs to be teaching that. Now, I realize that schools teach it because so many parents are hesitant to, but I’m not other parents, and I want my children learning those things from their parents, not from people who may have very different ideas from me as to what is appropriate sexuality.

The general teaching of morality is also a concern in the public system. Again, I want to instill morals in my children, morals which are all traced back to my faith. I don’t need a school system to do that for me.

I don’t how many of these things are a concern right now where I live. But I have heard horror stories from school districts around the country, and I know it’s only a matter of time before that kind of mentality seeps in everywhere. Public schools have changed so much, even from the time I was a child (although I didn’t attend one), so I know they will continue to change, and probably not for the better.

The really weird part about all of this, is that while I was going through all of these arguments with myself in my head, I was apparently also talking about them at home, without even realizing it. And now, all of the sudden, my husband, who has always been pretty opposed to homeschooling, is also thinking that this may be the best solution for our family, as long as we don’t have a Lutheran dayschool in our area and/or that we can afford. I’m really getting the feeling that maybe this is what God wants us to be doing, because we sure didn’t come up with this plan on our own!

Here’s the other thing–I want my children to continue to be who they are. They love drawing pictures of church, talking about church, talking about Jesus, reading Bible stories. On the one hand, I know my children could be a good witness to the Gospel because they are so outspoken with their child-like faith. On the other hand, I don’t want their faith to be crushed when they’re told that they can’t talk about those things in class, maybe can’t even draw pictures relating to their faith (I just read a news story addressing this very issue–something else that contributed to my heavy heart).

And the issue of holidays. For example, we don’t do Halloween at all. We’ll celebrate fall with a trip to the pumpkin patch, but we don’t carve those pumpkins. No dressing up (we can do that other days), no trick or treating (what a great idea–go beg food off of strangers on a threat, and overdo it on sugary snacks!), etc. Public schools (and some Christian schools, I know) make a big deal out of this day. Or, on the other hand, Christmas. Public schools can’t focus at all on the true meaning of Christmas–no hymns, no Christmas story, no baby Jesus. But the secular stuff–songs, Santa, presents–that they’ll over-emphasize. Well, we don’t do Santa either, and I’ve already spent the last five years trying to make sure that the focus of our celebration is Jesus; I’d really rather no have to undo all my efforts when teachers and classmates talk about Santa all the month of December. And the same kind of thing goes for Easter and the ridiculous story of the Easter bunny. Let’s face it, we’re the kind of family that is going to have angry parents beating our door down because our child told their child that Santa isn’t real. (And no, I would never tell my children to do that–I try to be very respectful of that tradition, even though I disagree with it, but my children can be honest to a fault!)

My children just love Jesus so much–I just want to continue to encourage that in them and help it grow, and I really think the best way I can do that is by choosing what they learn, what curriculum they use, and teach it to them myself. Who has their best interest at heart more than I do? And wouldn’t the one on one time I could give them be much better than being lost in a classroom full of students, all with differing needs? And, I can personalize the lessons to them–help them learn more about the things they’re really interested in, help them work on the stuff that gives them trouble.

I know it won’t be easy. Part of me was looking forward to the oldest two being in Kindergarten and Pre-K half days this fall–being able to run errands during the day with only two children in tow had it’s appeal. And it’s going to be expensive. The curriculum I’m looking at right now will run about $800 for the year–that’s about a quarter of what a Lutheran dayschool tuition would cost, but still a lot more than public school. But looking at the curriculum, I can’t help but be excited. Our faith can be present in all of the subjects, from reading to science, to the Bible lessons we’ll do daily. We’ll be able to look at things from a Creationism perspective, read Bible stories, learn about the true meaning of Christian (and maybe Jewish) holidays. When we do calendar in the morning, we can do both the date and look at the liturgical calendar. It’s so exciting to think of all the ways we’ll be able to include God in our daily lessons!

On the other hand, the curriculum I’m looking at also uses secular material, which I’m happy about. I don’t want to isolate my children from the outside world, I just want to filter it a bit. We’d read books I remember reading as a child, have regular language arts, math, etc. Eventually, they’d also be introduced to the theory of evolution, which is fine by me, but it would not be presented as the truth.

I think I could do this successfully (do I sound like I’m trying to convince myself?). I was an early childhood ed major at one point, and had I the wisdom in college that I do now as an adult (well, at least I have a little more wisdom now than I did then!) I would have stood up for myself and would probably have my teaching degree. Hindsight is 20/20, and I didn’t have the courage to stand up for myself then, so I didn’t finish the education track, but as a DCE, I do still have some experience in that area. Teaching is not without it’s challenges, but I think that I am up to that challenge.

Despite my past reluctance, homeschooling is really beginning to look like a win-win situation (financial investments aside!). Hopefully, we’ll be able to make a decision for sure soon, and then I can start planning.

How Do You Do It?

I get asked this a lot. I guess having four children, and especially since the oldest is only five, kind of begs the question. I don’t mind when people I know inquire–I figure since they’ve seen how, um, *active* my children are, they’re probably wondering how it is that I haven’t been institutionalized or started drinking in the morning. It really irks me, though, when perfect strangers come up to me (Target seems to be a favorite location for this conversation) and ask how I manage, or comment on how many children I have, or let me know that I have my hands full (thanks for the news bulletin!).

I guess people are just naturally curious, but they really make me feel like some kind of circus side show–why do complete strangers feel the need to comment on my family, or ask personal questions that are none of their business? It’s getting to the point where my children are starting to notice the commentary and ask why people always say that–and I imagine they’re getting used to being stared at about as much as I am. (My personal favorite, though, was one day when I was at the hospital for the baby’s well child exam, and someone asked if they were all mine. Really, you think I’d drag four children through the very busy hospital because it’s so much fun? Does it look like some kind of game trying to make sure the double stroller and the two older children all make it into the elevator before the doors close? Some people need some kind of screening device between their brains and mouths!)

Anyway, as to how I do it…how do I not do it? Really, what choice do I have? The house and children need to be cared for, and as that is my responsibility, I just do it. I can’t even remember what it was like to have only one child; can barely remember only having two. Frankly, adding children three and four were much easier than adding child two, because by the time I had baby three, I knew what to expect, and knew how to divide my time more efficiently.

This question always reminds me of a conversation I had with my doctor after baby three arrived. I had a c-section, just I have with all my other deliveries, and I was talking to him about how I was going to care for my older two children once I got home from the hospital, because I knew I’d have even less help this time around than I did with the first two. I flat out told him that I knew I’d be lifting at least my 16 month old sometimes, if not the two and half year old as well. I said this knowing full well that is not what doctors advise following a section–they always tell you not to lift anything heavier than the baby. But my doctor just looked at me and said “you do what you have to do.” He understood. He didn’t try to make me feel guilty for breaking the “rules,” rather, he set me free to parent the way I knew I needed to do, and to do what I felt was best for me and my children.

That’s how I feel about having four so young and so close in age–I do what I have to do. Sure, there are some mornings when I can barely drag myself out of bed, and there are some nights when I fall back into it in exhaustion, and there are many, many days when I tire of mediating disputes over toys, books and games, but this is the job God has given me to do. No matter how difficult it may be at times, it is what I have always wanted, and I can’t imagine doing it any differently. I’m doing what I have to do, because it’s there for me to do, and it needs to be done, and done well.

Something the Mormons Are Doing Right

I will admit to lurking on a Mormon message board. Partly because of the train wreck phenomenon, and partly because I will admit to admiring their devotion to family life. Anyway, today I was reading some comments about a rather innocuous children in church issue, and thinking that I wish more Christians had the same dedication to keeping their children in worship with them. For the most part, the posts were very supportive and encouraging, until a resident evangelical lurker pops in to add her two cents. In summary, what she basically said was “why don’t you people throw your kids in the nursery every Sunday? I look forward to that hour I can sit uninterrupted with my husband every week, and they can have a fun, child-appropriate time playing.”

Pardon me while the eye-rolling begins. Leave it to an evangelical to make Christians look ridiculous, while the Mormons have their priorities in order. First of all, I was not aware that church existed to provide parents with free babysitting. How foolish of me not to realize that! Second of all, I will never understand how parents expect their children to behave in church at age five or seven, or whatever the magical age for church attendance is (if they even bother bringing their children at all–maybe they just have them go to Sunday school until they graduate high school instead of insisting on the family worshipping together. Perhaps I’ve stumbled across most churches poor retention rates when it comes to post junior high and high school aged youth!) when they have not been accustomed to going from infancy on. Sure, it can be a struggle to get little ones to sit through a service without being distracting, but you have to start learning sometime, and I know from a lot of personal experience that they are learning, even when they’re little. Just watch my two year old sing along with the doxology sometime!

If mainstream Christian churches would pay attention to the welcoming attitude most of the Mormon church has toward children, we may be able to solve the problem we’re facing of our youth leaving church after confirmation or graduation, and not returning until they have children of their own. Something worth looking into.

I’m pretty sure Jesus said “let the children come to me.”

I’ve been told that if I want to keep up with technology (thank you Ryan) that I should have a blog. So here it is. Now, with four children, it’s anybody’s guess as to how often I’ll actually write anything here, so we’ll just have to see how it goes.

So, I read something on a message board I frequent the other day, and it’s been driving me crazy ever since. The thought started out innocently enough—if your baby is crying in church, please be considerate of those worshiping around you, and remove him or her from the service until the crying has stopped. I get that. Personally, I may wait a minute or two to see if the crying stops in the church, before drawing further attention to the situation by climbing over those seated next to me and leaving the sanctuary with a wailing child, but if someone wants to leave at the first sign of whimper, that’s their business. It was the following quote, however, that really raised my hackles:

Which is why we don’t attend a church that allows babies in the service. Some people do find that offensive and when a deacon kindly asks them to take their children to one of the age appropriate rooms, we’ve had new people grab their belongings and march out totally ticked off. We have a nursing moms room and a sick child room both which have live video of the service. And of course we have classes for babies all the way up through junior high.

Parents also are given pagers which vibrate if they’re needed. I think expecting a baby or a young child to sit through a church service is unreasonable. It’s totally not fun for the child and it’s totally distracting for the congregants. Why not have them well taken care of in an environment with loving care takers, great toys and age appropriate stories and activities?

A church that doesn’t allow my children in worship?!? Are you kidding me? I would certainly be one of those parents leaving ticked off if a “deacon” ever told me my children weren’t welcome in church. Aside from the fact that as a visitor, I would never, ever leave my children with strangers, I just don’t understand this line of thinking at all. Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t care for church nurseries (we even go so far as to attend a church that does not offer one, which is a huge relief to me!) or children’s church, whatever that’s even supposed to mean.

Maybe it’s because I come from such a liturgical tradition, but the content of the service (sermon, readings, etc.) aside, which I know can be difficult for both children and adults to grasp, there is so much to be learned from the act of worship. So much of our Divine Service comes directly from Scripture, and the familiar words of the liturgy and the hymns that we sing are ingrained in our children from before they are born–I truly believe each one of my children recognized the rhythm and flow of the service from hearing it every week in utero. Why would I want them to miss out on the act of corporate worship just because of their age? And while I look forward to church every week, let’s face it, it’s not supposed to be “fun.” Worship is not about us, and if we’re going there to have a good time, we have other issues we need to resolve, other than whether or not children should be there.

Learning to sit still is also not going to hurt a child, either. Everything in our society is so “go, go, go” from pre-school years on up; that time of sitting quietly in church on Sunday mornings can only only be beneficial for the body and spirit. And how is a child ever going to learn to sit and pay attention to the service if you don’t start them out right at the beginning? For my family, anyway, we’ll all be in church together, and if we ever run across a church that doesn’t support that, I can guarantee you we won’t ever be going back there.

OK, rant over.