It’s Just Like Starting Over

I have discovered that this fifth baby is the most similar to the first, and in many ways, I feel like I’m starting completely over.

I guess it’s because of the amount of time that has passed since my last pregnancy, but it seems as though I’ve forgotten everything. What medications are safe to take, what’s on the do-not-eat list, what symptoms are normal–it all seems new to me.

I’m also suffering from paranoia similar to that of my first pregnancy. I assume that this is mostly due to the loss I suffered in March, although I’m sure it’s also partly due to the length of time since my last pregnancy. But I worry about this one more than I have since the first pregnancy. I question every twinge and symptom, I panic at the doctor’s office each visit, (until I actually hear the heartbeat), even though I have no reason to, I worry about what could go wrong between now and the due date. I know that this worry is not good, and is pointless, and is all stuff that probably won’t happen. But I just can’t help myself.

And then there’s the issue of starting over in a material sense. I got rid of all of my maternity clothes, so I’ve had to start over in that regard. But with the first pregnancy, at least, I knew that there would be many more pregnancies to follow, so I didn’t mind spending money on clothes. This time, however, I’m trying to buy as few things as possible, since they’ll only be used, (by me at least), for one pregnancy. This translates into a very limited maternity wardrobe.

And then there’s the issue of things for the baby. We got rid of most of our baby stuff, either due to recalls, (both of our cribs), expiration dates, (infant car seats), or plain old use, (high chair and swing). The only thing we really have is plenty of clothes, (although a lot of those fit in the worn category, too), and that’s only because I’ve been too lazy to sort through them, and figure out which sentimental items should be kept, while the rest are donated. I think I’m actually going to have to create a registry, (something else I haven’t really done since the first), just to keep track of everything we’re going to need to buy, or I’ll forget something for sure!

It’s weird feeling like a first-timer when this is going to be our fifth birth. I imagine that feeling will also carry through to the newborn stage, because I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten everything I know about infants, too!

3 thoughts on “It’s Just Like Starting Over

  1. It sounds to me you have the chance to start from scratch and try some different ideas and approaches!
    For example, instead of a high chair you could get the kind of seat which straps onto a sturdy dinning chair which you already have. This way the chair can be taken off the moved to the classroom during school time or taken outside for backyard picnics. Instead of a crib you could try having a baby safe room in which the baby sleeps on a mattress on the floor. If the babe can get up and move around in the morning then you can squeeze in a few more minutes of sleep instead of waking up to a baby crying to be set free from the crib.

    I’m sure you’ll remember what to do with an infant… And have more than enough “help” from your little assistants!

  2. That’s actually the kind chair we had with Ladybug…it came apart in a completely indescribable (and irreparable!) way, but we’ll probably get a similar one, anyway.

    As for the crib…there’s just never going to be a room in our house that is that baby safe, with all these big kids around! That’s OK, though…sleep is a rare commodity around here as it is!

  3. Totally understood, in the same boat here. FreeCycle has really helped me a ton (maternity clothes) along with sales (crib, car seat) and hand-me-downs from friends (boy clothes.) There are still a few things that I need but they are no longer pressing. I’m also paranoid because this is my only boy and last pregnancy for sure, I think. Hang in there <3

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.