“We have a new winner in the ‘definite maybe’ sweepstakes.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Five O’Clock Charlie,” season two, episode two

“We definitely do not need a nug.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “5 O’Clock Charlie,” season two, episode two

“Screwed up in reverse. We’ll never get out of here.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Divided We Stand,” season two, episode one

“These are forms to get the forms that enable us to order more forms, sir.” Corporal Radar O’Reilly, “Cease Fire,” season one, episode 23

“Go get some height and we’ll make fun of it.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Sticky Wicket,” season one, episode 21

“Can I show you something in a get well prayer?” Father Francis Mulcahy, “Sometimes You Hear the Bullet,” season one, episode 17

“You can’t conquer the world with a shoddy olive.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Sometimes You Hear the Bullet,” season one, episode 17

“Let’s hope it’s a long and healthy hate.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Sometimes You Hear the Bullet,” season one, episode 17

“I don’t believe in atheism. Let’s make him a Druid…Reformed. They’re allowed to pray at bushes.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Tuttle,” season one, episode 15

“He was the best damn O. D. we ever had!” Lieutenant Colonel Henry Blake, “Tuttle,” season one, episode 15