“I’ll carry your books, I’ll carry a torch, I’ll carry a tune, I’ll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash-and-carry, carry me back to Old Virginie, I’ll even ‘hari-kari’ if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Officer of the Day,” season three, episode three

“This morning was a very good year.” Captain Trapper John McIntyre “Officer of the Day,” season three, episode three

“I discussed you with everyone you know and they all think you’re disgusting.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Margarets’s Engagement,” season five, episode two

“I couldn’t love anyone who didn’t outrank me.” Major Margaret Houlihan, “Margaret’s Engagement,” season five, episode two

“Well, have a nice trip, boys. Be good. And if you can’t be good, be careful.” Father Francis Mulcahy, “Rainbow Bridge,” season three, episode two

“‘Tis the season to be silly, Colonel. April one-eth is at hand.” Captain B.J. Hunnicutt, “April Fools,” season eight, episode 25

“Father dying last year. Mother dying last year. Mother AND father dying. Mother, father, and older sister dying. Mother dying and older sister pregnant. Older sister dying and mother pregnant. Younger sister pregnant and older sister dying. Here’s an oldie but a goodie: Half of the family dying, other half pregnant.” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Mail Call,” season two, episode 23

“I know, but to cut off a man’s legs and steal his drawers…” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Crisis,” season two, episode 21

 “I was latrine officer, son. My outfit never made a move without me!” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Crisis,” season two, episode 21

 “Now I lay me down to sleep, a bag of peanuts at my feet. If I should die before I before I wake, give them to my brother Jake.” Father Francis Mulcahy, “Crisis,” season two, episode 21