“Do you mean what do I do when I’m bored?…Uh, well, um… I mostly do the same thing I do when I’m not bored, only I do it slower.” Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H
Hawkeye is me anytime I try to play a card game more sophisticated than Uno!
“I’m reminded of a story. You’ve probably heard it. The, uh, King and Queen of this country were playing golf with five clubs, when their son, Jack, remarked how strange it was they had only two hearts between them. Just then, Deucey and her little dog, Trey, started singing ‘Four Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.’ Whereupon the entire family beat her to death and buried her with two spades. Did you get it?…Well, I didn’t. What do I bid?” Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce in M*A*S*H
In the past, I’ve shared a list of my top five favorite episodes of M*A*S*H. That list didn’t contain any episodes from seasons one through three, though, because I’m more of a fan of the Potter/Hunnicutt years. Recently, I’ve come to appreciate the Blake and McIntyre years a little bit more, so I thought I’d come up with a “top five” list that covers the first three seasons. Not included are any “Dear Dad” or “Mail Call” episodes, because no matter what season they’re in, they’re always excellent, and it’s just not fair to compare anything else to them!
- “Tuttle” (season one)–Hawkeye and Trapper invent a captain and give all of his money to a local orphanage. This episode is a little disturbing, though, because you actually get to see Radar’s phone pal, Sparky!
- “The Long-John Flap” (season one)–I think this episode, in which a pair of long-johns make the rounds through the whole camp, is my favorite from the first three seasons.
- “5 O’Clock Charlie” (season two)–I don’t know what’s funnier…the fact that an inept North Korean bomber keeps missing his target near the camp, or that the equally inept Frank Burns thinks he can rectify the situation!
- “The Sniper” (season two)–I really like this episode because it hits the balance between funny and serious perfectly. In the end, we’re reminded of not only what a good doctor Hawkeye is, but also what a good person.
- “Adam’s Ribs” (season three)–I have to admit, a big part of what I love about this episode is the fact that Hawkeye is trying to get ribs from Chicago shipped to the 4077th. I also love his “river of liver” rant, too, though!
I’m not sure that I like any of these episodes enough to include them in my overall M*A*S*H top five list, but they’re all fun to watch!
Seems appropriate for tax time!
“Big surprise. Uncle Sam always turns the other check.” Mike Farrell as B.J. Hunnicutt on M*A*S*H
This quote seems especially appropriate at the one-year anniversary of COVID-19 putting life on hold for so many:
“You know what they say here? ‘Live for now, for there may be no tomorrow.’ Not for me. I’ve got to live for tomorrow, because for me there’s no now.” Mike Farrell as B.J. Hunnicutt on M*A*S*H
“You know, Sis, it doesn’t matter whether you feel useful or not, when you’re moving from one disaster to another. The trick, I guess, is to just keep moving.” William Christopher as Father Mulcahy on M*A*S*H
“Frank, you know what a hero is? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, he’s somebody who’s tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don’t give a damn. Come on.” Alan Alda as Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H
“You don’t have to love it here. Just tolerate it an awful lot.” Harry Morgan as Colonel Potter in M*A*S*H
I love M*A*S*H‘s nurse Kellye Yamato!
“For your information, I happen to have a fantastic sense of humor, a bubbly personality, and I am warm and sensitive like you wouldn’t believe. I also sing and play guitar and I am learning to tap dance. And on top of all that, I happen to be cute as hell!”
They were talking about ribs in this episode of M*A*S*H, but this pretty much describes how I feel about Portillo’s!
“I’d walk to Chicago on my knees in the snow for a takeout order.” Joseph Stern as Master Sgt. Tarola in M*A*S*H