“Colonel… if you can hear me, knock three times! If you can’t, knock twice!” Corporal Maxwell Klinger, “Bombed,” season three, episode 15

“I’ve got Command on my tail! And a hospital full of Greeks waiting on a lamb that’s on a plane on his way to Iowa to become Radar’s little brother!” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Private Charles Lamb,” season three, episode 14

“Attention, all personnel: Please contact Colonel Blake if anyone knows the whereabouts of tonight’s entrée. In the meantime, be on the lookout for a white Caucasian lamb. He is reported to be unarmed and considered to be delicious.” P.A. Announcer, “Private Charles Lamb,” season three, episode 14

“Happy…uh…Athens.” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Private Charles Lamb,” season three, episode 14

“Well, all right, but rest assured, I won’t listen to a word I read.” Major Margaret Houlihan, “Mad Dogs and Servicemen,” season three, episode 13

“Oh, I get sort of carsick when I read in bed.” Corporal Radar O’Reilly, “Mad Dogs and Servicemen,” season three, episode 13

“I’m not a psychiatrist, I’m not screwed up enough.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, Mad Dogs and Servicemen,” season three, episode 13

“Thank you, Major. You’ve been a tower of Jell-O.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Adam’s Ribs,” season three, episode 11

“Lady, you’re a real gentleman.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Adam’s Ribs,” season three, episode 11

“I was born in Illinois. I spent half my life at the Dearborn station.” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Adam’s Ribs,” season three, episode 11