“Don’t you understand man…you’ve struck coleslaw!” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Of Moose and Men,” season four, episode 11

“I realize supply requisitions in this area are difficult to fill but the situation has been getting steadily worse. We order rectal thermometers, we get spark plugs. Both useful articles, but hardly interchangeable. Get with it, Supply.” Colonel Sherman Potter, “Dear Peggy,” season four, episode 10

“I’ll do anything to prove I’m not fit. I’ll… I’ll wet my bed. I’ll wet your bed! I’ll wet the whole camp!” Corporal Maxwell Klinger, “Dear Peggy,” season four, episode 10

“You regard Jesus Christ as an underdog?” Colonel Sherman Potter, “Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler,” season four, episode nine

“If a man says he’s Christ, he might just become a better Christian. I mean, if I had a horse who was convinced he was Man O’ War, I don’t know that I’d want to set him straight, if you get my drift.” Colonel Sherman Potter, “Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler,” season four, episode nine

“You always pray for chocolate pudding.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler,” season four, episode nine

“I have nothing to do with intelligence.” Colonel Sam Flagg, “Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler,” season four, episode nine

“Oh, yeah. There are hundreds of cases of losing an eye from a three-minute egg!” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “The Kids,” season four, episode eight

“Son, to me that’s a tip-toe through the tulips.” Colonel Sherman Potter, “Dear Mildred,” season four, episode seven

“I’m in fine fettle. I’ve never felt fettler.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “The Bus,” season four, episode six