“They trapped me in a pay toilet. Cost ’em four dollars in nickels to get me out.” Corporal Maxwell Klinger, “Deal Me Out,” season two, episode 13

“Now, that’s inscrutable.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Deal Me Out,” season two, episode 13

“Radar, whatever it is, sign it, cancel it, or order five more.” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “Deal Me Out,” season two, episode 13

“Wow. Did you really call a one-star general a ‘NINCOMPAC?'” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “The Incubator,” season two, episode 12

“Oh, just use one of those standard S-1798s and write in ‘pizza’ where it says ‘machine gun.'” Captain Salon, “The Incubator,” season two, episode 12

“Did you really yell ‘Give me an incubator or give me death?'” Lt. Colonel Henry Blake, “The Incubator,” season two, episode 12

“How’re we gonna know what a good time we had unless you tell us how rotten we are?” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “The Incubator,” season two, episode 12

“My nose feels like it weighs five pounds.” Major Frank Burns, “Carry On, Hawkeye,” season two, episode 11

“How is my fainting gonna help?” Corporal Radar O’Reilly, “Carry On, Hawkeye,” season two, episode 11

“You know that little shot you gave me for the flu? Well it worked. I’ve got it.” Captain Hawkeye Pierce, “Carry On, Hawkeye,” season two, episode 11